Lemme lay some science on you.
As we all know (except for creationists) that humans have evolved from monkeys or apes or some kind of little hairy thing that may at one point have been a fish of some sort. And through evolution, we have gotten rid of a bunch of unnecessary hair, we started walking upright, and we formed languages and alphabets and other sweet ways to communicate like facebook and twitter. But even at this point, we must still be evolving somehow, right?
You're damn right, right!
As globalization happens, people from countries that were once unreachable begin to breed with other people with different genes. Now I'm not trying to turn this into something racist, but when a black chick sleeps with a white dude and they make babies, the baby will be a light skinned black person, or a halfie as I sometimes (non racially) call them. Now if that halfie sleeps with a Asian/Mexican halfie and make some kind of white/black/Asian/Mexican quadie. Now if this quadie sleeps with some other quadie and makes babies, then we have some kind of human mutt. Now once again, I would like to take this time to note that I'm not trying to be racist if it's coming off like that. I'm actually all for the unification of all races through reproduction, that's evolution baby. But the question that remains is: What color of skin will this mix of races have? According to scientists*, it will be some sort of gray color. So this means that gray skin is in the lineup for human evolution.
What's next on the lineup for evolution? Height? Got that one covered. China has about 20% of the worlds population. Aside from Yao Ming, Chinese people are usually pretty short. Once again, NOT being racist! This is just true, it's not my fault that height is hereditary and Genghis Khan was a short dude whose mongol seed invaded the ovaries of hundreds of (probably also short) Asian women. So this means that shortness is spreading. It may actually be part of our evolution to get smaller. Smaller bodies are easier to handle anyway, so this one is actually survival of the fittest. Seriously though, it's a known fact that tall people have shorter lives while shorter people live longer lives (with shorter penises)*
Now i'm gonna have to go and make another note about Chinese people. They generally have flatter faces and bigger, more slanted eyes. I know! I know! I sound like some white supremacist, but I'm just pointing out the obvious. Evolution is not my fault! This is just the way it is!
Had enough evolution? Too bad. We're reproducing fast and the human genome is changing quickly! Lets talk baldness. According to what I've read, baldness is a dominant gene. Now I don't know a whole lot about genetics, but I do know this. Males have XY chromosomes, and Females have XX chromosomes. The baldness gene travels in the X chromosome. Now I'm not a mathematician either, but look at the percentages here. XX-XY. How many X's are there? That's 75% X's! And baldness is carried in the X Gene?! Conclusion: Eventually all humans will be bald*.
Along with evolution of our bodies, we also evolve with technology and communication. Humans went from grunting and throwing rocks, to twittering and dropping nuclear bombs from giant metal birds that rip through the air. And according to Moore's Law, technology will continue to evolve with us so long as we stay the dominant race on this planet.
Now prepare to shit yourself.
if all of the above mentioned is true, then we will evolve to be little, gray, big slanty eyed, flat faced, bald dudes with advanced technology such as hovering air crafts that can zip through the sky
OHHHHHHHH SNAP! You heard it here first! Aliens are not from other planets! They are HUMAN TIME TRAVELERS FROM THE FUTURE! Why would they come back in time and abduct us and steal our cows and shit? A lot of reasons. What if there's food problems in the future? What if we actually eat ALL of the cows? Then what? Then we time travel our asses back in time, abduct some fucking cows, bring them back, clone those delicious maahfuckas, and FEAST! Why would we abduct humans? Why not? You're telling me that if a human scientist went back in time to see a pre-evolved form of a human, they wouldn't want to inspect it and maybe do some experiments and shit? Of course they would! That's like, what scientists do, man!
But you may wonder... If they are humans and they are friendly, then how come they don't come down here and say "hi" and let us know what's going down in the future and maybe kill the next Hitler before he's born. You wanna know why? Have you not fucking seen Back To The Future? You can't just go back in time and start fucking with shit like that. You'll screw up the whole space time continuum or some shit. What if you went back in time and you messed with some shit, and then because of that the technology of time travel was never invented? Then what? Then you're stuck in the past, and everybody thinks you're an alien, and you have no way to disprove them because your time travel pod broke down. You'd be fucked.
So now you all know. And it looks like some of us are already starting to evolve.
*citation needed
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