CVS Sucks

I don't often go to CVS, and when I do, it's usually for one or maybe two items. I'll go in there, grab some batteries, or a bucket of KY jelly, and when I walk up to the front of the store to pay, what do I see? A line of like 20 people, all of them over the age of 60. And you know how many people are working the cash registers? One. Fucking... One. Now, if this wasn't bad enough, every single 60 year old lady in front of me has a fucking shopping cart full of items. Who the fuck uses a shopping cart at CVS? Have you not heard of the supermarket? They sell all the same shit as CVS, and MORE (probably for cheaper). Actually no, I take the cheaper part back. See, what draws all these old ladies here is that they survived through the great depression. And what are old depression ladies good at? Pinching pennies. And what will you find a stack of at the front door of every CVS? A fucking full 16 page color magazine of coupons. All these old ladies love that shit. The thrill of getting 30c off when you buy 15 cans of soup, it's what they live for. And the coupons just add to my world of frustration. Because these ladies will mistakenly pick up last weeks coupon magazine, and then argue to their grave that the coupons are still valid. All the while, i'm standing at the back of the line with my pack of AA batteries thinking about the lonely powerless xbox controller I have sitting at my home waiting for me. The best part is that when I let out an exasperated sigh to let the people around me know that I think they should die, one of the old ladies on line will turn to me and be like, "I know, right?" I will then shrug and laugh and think to myself, "well, at least this lady knows". And then when that lady gets up to the front of the line, guess what she starts doing? Arguing about coupons! It's crazy.

It actually took my a while, but I figured out why these old ladies do this at CVS. It's because they can go out, get their pharmaceuticals, and while their at it, make my life a pain in the ass. And I have figured out the solution.

What you do, is you put me at the front door, arm me with a pistol, and when I see somebody going to reach for one of those coupon magazines - BLAM! Problem solved.